Riding the Emotional Wave

Our days are filled with tides - subtle shifts and crashing waves of emotion.
Throughout the day, we feel joy, frustration, longing, confusion, fear, and everything in between.
This is not wrong. It’s not something to fix - it's the part of being human.

But many of us were never taught how to move through these waves. So instead
We learned to ignore.
To quiet them.
To rush past them.
To act before they grow too loud.
Or to reach for something - anything - that will make the discomfort stop.

It’s no wonder so many of us feel disconnected from our own sense of knowing.

We have forgotten how to listen to ourselves.
To mistrust our own knowing.
To confuse urgency with truth.
And we lose the spaciousness where wise choices once lived.

But what if we could learn to understand our emotions instead of fearing or avoiding them?
What if we allowed them to move through us like waves - rising, peaking, and gently passing?

the two systems: why it is so hard to pause

In Thinking, Fast and Slow, psychologist Daniel Kahneman describes two systems our brains use to make decisions.

System 1 is fast, intuitive, automatic, and deeply emotional.
It reacts before you even realise what you have acted on.
It’s shaped by your past - your patterns, fears, and survival responses.
It’s not bad. It’s trying to protect you, keep you safe.

It’s efficient, but not always wise.
It’s the version of safe and familiar. And that’s not always what’s best for you.

System 2 is slower, more thoughtful, and conscious.
It’s more deliberate and discerning.
It steps back, pauses, reflects.
This part of your brain is where deep reasoning and long-term decision-making live.
It allows space for context, for values, for truth.

It’s the wiser part of you - but it needs time and space to activate.

however the challenge is that In most emotional moments, System 1 gets there first. System 2 arrives more gently - it needs time, and often the moment has already passed.

This is why learning to pause - to ride the emotional wave rather than be swept away - is so powerful.
Because when you give your emotions space to rise and soften, for the emotion to pass, you make room for clarity, presence, and choice.

You create the space for a decision that’s aligned with your deeper needs-not just your immediate impulses.

changing the pattern

Over time, the more you do this-pause, feel, wait-the more you teach system 1 that you are safe.

System 1 learns through repetition.
So if you keep acting on urges - reaching, running, reacting - it keeps reinforcing those pathways.
But if you start responding differently - even just once a day - you begin to rewire it.

You show yourself: This feeling doesn’t control me. I can hold it. I can wait. I can choose.

And over time, System 1 begins to soften too.
It begins to trust that you can handle discomfort.
That you’re ok even when things feel uncertain.
That you don’t need to rush to make a decision.

This is how unconscious patterns begin to shift. When you stop reacting automatically and start getting curious about your emotional world, your brain builds new pathways. You slowly rewire your system to respond with intention instead of fear.

This is how transformation happens - slowly, quietly, over time.

A gentle practice to Ride the Wave

1. Notice
   Pause. Notice it. Acknowledge it.
   Something is here.
   Name it if you can. I feel overwhelmed.
   I feel the need to escape.

2. Listen
   Get curious if you can. Ask:
   What is this emotion trying to protect me from?
   What story is it telling?
   Does it feel loud? Urgent? Familiar?

3. Pause
   don’t react. Don’t numb.
   Just sit with it - if only for a moment, even a few breaths. Set a timer if it helps.
   but Let yourself be with it

4. Feel the Peak
   If you feel safe enough, let the emotion rise fully. You are not running from it. You are witnessing it.
   This part is vulnerable - it can feel overwhelming.
   It may feel like too much. And that’s okay.
   Even noticing it without acting is a courageous start.

5. Watch the Release
   Every wave softens eventually. As it eases, notice if your inner voice feels a little calmer, a little more rooted.
   You may notice your body loosening, your thoughts slowing.
   A quieter voice may appear - the one that is rooted, the one that knows.

6. Reflect ask yourself, write it down, say it out loud or in your head
   How do I feel now that I have ridden the wave? proud, calm, understood? What is this emotion showing me?
   What do I truly need? What does the wiser part of you - the one that has had a moment to breathe- want or know?

the work, again and again

This is deep work. Brave work.
It’s not simple or fast.
But it’s the kind of quiet that changes lives.

Even doing this once a day plants the seed of a different life - one rooted in trust, not reactivity.
You are learning to hold yourself through discomfort,
To listen before acting,
To respond with presence instead of pattern.

You’re already walking the path of self-trust, emotional maturity, and personal evolution.
You’re teaching your mind and body that you can hold discomfort and still stay rooted.
You’re building a life that is not reactive, but intentional.

Not perfect, but deeply your own.

This is the work of living a well-curated life - not free from emotion, but guided by presence, patience, and quiet strength.

One wave at a time.